saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
