Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
