In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im part way to drunk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
