i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
