Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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