Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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