she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
