Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
