Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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