like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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