how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
