my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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