Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
