what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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