If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
