Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
