the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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