After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
