Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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