Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
