I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
