You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
