Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
