its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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