Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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