Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
cat food counts as protein by the way
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
