Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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