I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
