Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
