your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
