ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
