Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
