I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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