I want to stick my p in your. b.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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