Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
