I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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