I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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