Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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