Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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