It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
