I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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