I heard we made out
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she peed on how many people?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
