i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
