I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
