I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
