Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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