What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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