I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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