So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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