We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
