Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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